Last night I was googling long runs and stuff and kept finding information that says you shouldn't do a long run a month before the marathon. But in my head, I need to do one. This marathon thing is a head game and in my head, I need to run. I haven't been exactly burning up the pavement during the week, so...
I prayed really quickly and asked God for wisdom, but not really thinking much more about it. I went to bed and got ready to get up at 3 am to go run before Mark had to go to work. I didn't sleep much last night. Sign from above? Then after the alarm went off, I got ready and started my run. I was REALLY slow! But my new water backpack was leaking. I figured it would stop leaking in a bit. But by mile 4 when my pants and shirt were SOAKED I realized that it wasn't going to stop and I would chafe and not have any water to drink. So I came home. Sign from above?
I am feeling like a failure and I am totally scared about this marathon. It is all I can think about and stress about. Should I try and run tomorrow? The day isn't nearly as "perfect" as today was. Plus, my dead toenail hurts.
I know this sounds stupid and like a "pat" answer - but I am going to start praying about this. I need to get my brain in the right direction and will it take 20 miles to get it there? I hope God has an obvious answer for this!!
UPDATE: God is good. As I wrote that last paragraph, I doubted (gee anyone surprised) that God would really give me an answer - and that I would actually hear it loud and clearn. But my doubt does not stop God from loving me - actually, nothing can stop God from loving me, even though I'm sure I push His buttons! Anyway, my husband works with someone who ran marathons. Mark called me and had me speak with Rod. He assured me that I'm ready and that a long run would only HURT me. I feel better and since God knows how thick headed I am, He even gave me peace! Thank you Lord!!!!!