I just returned from the geneticist and accumulated some more to add to the list. Plus, I'm seeking prayers...
* I did not get a late start and drove upwards of 80 mph to get there. I also did not have to raid the coin jar to get enough money to pay tolls for the Sunshine Skyway. I also did not feed the boys a healthy lunch from a drive-through in the back of Mark's newish car.
* I did not drive home from the geneticist going the speed limit because both boys fell asleep and I wanted "nap time" to last as long as possible.
* I did not almost burst into tears in the geneticist because I Ryan fell. Ryan didn't bite his tongue and hit his almost smashed in teeth. He did not bleed like a fiend and he did not start screaming. (Deviating from the I didn't protocol)I pick him up, assess the situation and then start snuggling him. All the while, the doctor's assistant sat there - with no expression. No concern, no worry, no care, no emotion! I'm tearing up because I hate that he is hurt, again. The guy was all put out that he couldn't keep asking me questions because Ryan was crying! So I try to answer questions, think through the past year and tell him what specialists we've seen. (Actually, he should have asked... "who haven't we seen?") All the while, I'm tring to figure out where the blood is coming from and how to make it stop. I asked for a cup and there wasn't in the room. The guy SIGHED and got up to get one!! Um, my kid bit a gash in his tongue. How dare I ask for a cup!!
* So I wasn't already upset about all that... After the doctor's assistant grilled us, we had what didn't feel like 12 years to wait for the doctor. Ryan wasn't obsessed with throwing his books in the trash can. It was a hole in the counter and he thought it was great fun.
* Then the doctor came and I totally don't deserve "mother of the year" for this... I didn't forget to get a carbohydrate transporter deficiency test run last year. Ok, don't I feel like crap?? I know remember where I dropped the ball. All the doctors were pointing fingers about who should order the tests. So I lost track and never fell through. Prayer moment: Pray that I get it done this year!!
* I didn't get home and turn Seasame Street on so I could have 50 minutes to do the chores I didn't do this morning - only to vent on my blog. I would never do that. I am the best parent ever. Can't you tell?
* So here's where I need some prayers, please: I need Ryan's neurologist to call me because I think he's having more seizures and he keeps falling. Could it be the meds? I want to get these tests under our belt and I am praying that God would make the path smooth. I also need to figure out which splints I need to order for Ryan's legs - and that they don't break the bank. I also want prayers of protection for Ryan - he looks horrible - tongue gash, fat lip, bumps on his forehead, and a cut on his head. Each time he falls, I just fall apart a little bit more. Plus I'm just beating myself up which never helps. Oh yeah, I need to get Ryan to the dentist to look at his awful banged up teeth. I don't have dental insurance for him! Ugh another point of stress.
Thanks! I promise to laugh about all this in another hour or so.