Sometimes, I have to remember that so many things in life are just a game. I tell my students all the time that there are hoops to jump through and seemingly-unreasonable steps to take. And it is all just part of the game...
Homework...
Standardized tests...
Closing fees when buying a house...
Signing in to particular websites...
Being nice and respectful to people who don't deserve it...
Not telling people what you are really thinking...
Sitting through professional development workshops...
Getting your children to the right school...
IQ tests for non-verbal children...
It's all just part of the game.
I sat through a meeting last week and when all was said and done, I was a mess. A blubbering, snot-bubble forming mess. I went to a friends house and cried. I went back to work and cried. And ranted and raved. I spent time with my husband. And ranted and raved. I went to a party and made jokes about it. (Because you can't rant and rave at a party!)
But all of it is a game and I have to remember that. Stupid psychological reports that describe a child I do not know, even though he is my son. Game-time. Listening to a failed behavioral intervention plan even though the interventions are silly. Game-playing. All of it is part of the game that I asked to play.
See, when I decided my children need a different school, I signed up to play this game. I knew from the onset that it would be ugly. I was fortunately warned. But in the midst, I forgot. I allowed myself to get upset about what I heard. I allowed myself to doubt what I know about my children. And I cried.
I quickly remembered that the psychological report needed to be "ugly" and that the behavior intervention plan had to fail. But did that keep me from forming snot-bubbles from the tears? Nope. Because my tears morphed into something totally different.
I got mad at myself for being upset about the game. It was the stupidest, vicious cycle, ever! I was mad that I was mad about a piece of paper. Have you ever done that? I'm probably the only crazy one...
And if I don't win my game on Thursday... I'm going into over-time.
1 comment:
As you found out...you are not alone (as it often feels) in your "game"! Thanks for lending me an ear today. I already feel so much better. If I read this before I called you, I probably wouldn't have burdened you with my "game". It is fun to "play" the "game" together though, isn't it?
I was upset when I got Maddy's CP diagnosis, but then I had to tell myself that she was the same girl she was before I heard it, so why is it bothering me so? Remembering that helped to make me feel better.
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