Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I have some confessions to make. They aren't pretty. And chances are, the "Mommy Mafia" will have plenty fuel to judge me. But I'm ok with that. In fact, read on and you will feel better about yourselves.

I think, often times, as parents we want to sound like we have our act together. We want others to like us and be impressed with our children, so we end up putting on this front that we don't mess up, much. Or sure, we share the little problems. But we share just enough to seem normal. I mean, everyone yells at their kids. I'd know you were lying if you said you didn't.

I used to call these confessions, NOT Me's. But the more I live my life, the more I want to connect with other moms and let my guard down. I want to share my frustrations and my not-so-proud moments. I want to know that I'm not the only that slacks off or screws up. So here are some of the confessions that are rolling around in my head:

*I feed my children cereal for dinner. It breaks up the monotony of chicken nuggets and hot dogs. Although I did learn that Zach will eat some amazing things if I bribe him with M&Ms. Oh, and that cereal? Captain Crunch. No wait, Malt-o-Meal's version. Not organic and full of sugar.

* I take my kids to the playground to get a break. I don't want to play with them. I want them to play on their own. I want to read my book or talk to other moms. But then I feel guilty when another mom starts talking to my kids. So I go over and start acting like I always play with my kids.

* I sometimes know my kids are doing something they aren't supposed to, but I am slow in getting up to stop them. Like right now, I'm in the toy room blogging and they are pouring pop corn in the shag carpet rug. I'll clean it up, but not yet.

* I can be mean to my husband. I take him for granted and then five minutes later start a huge argument because I tell him he takes me for granted. Sorry, honey!

* For Mother's Day, I just want to be left alone. In my house. With. no. one. else. there.

* I work. I am glad I work (most of the time). I am tired of being judged or looked down upon because I work. I wish there wasn't guilt attached with my decision. Sometimes I say I work for insurance. I also don't think I would have made a good stay at home mom. Sure I'm a teacher, but I have no patience for teaching my children.

* I get home about 45 minutes before the kids do and I am usually very selfish with that time. I would prefer to sit and read or use the computer than clean the house or do chores. So sometimes, when my kids get home... that's when I start the chores. There are days though, that I actually clean when I get home. But I would rather not.

* I call my youngest son a "terrorist". He is full of personality and can be quite charming, but can be really draining. He can't talk well, so he whines to get his message across.

* I often grieve the fact that my children aren't "normal". Oh, I know they were chosen by God for me, but I sometimes which He had given me "normal" kids.

* Sometimes Zach wets his bed in a bottom corner and it's dry before I find it. If I'm really lazy on those days, I wait to change his sheets. If it's wet or in the top, I'll change it. On the same note, Zach prefers to sleep on the floor. I don't always put him back bed when I peek in on him.

* Ryan only has one pair of shoes he can wear to school. He has a pair of sandals and Crocs though.

I am sure I will have more confessions. But these felt good to get off my chest! So let the Mommy Mafia know where I live. I will be happy to take the hits - then they will be off your back. I'm a friend like that! Oh, and I have a huge popcorn mess to clean up.


Anne Carvalho said...

As I am reading your comments, I stop and think wow you sound Like me!!!It feels good to know i am not the only one that feels this way! I really think that god give us what he thinks we can handle but their are days when I feel like a bad mom and wish she was a typical kid. Then she will give me a hug and tell me she loves me!! That is when i feel like a bad mom!! I see you with your boys and i can tell you are a great mom!! I was laughing at what you said about being alone on mothers day because my husband would always say its mothers day spend it with the kids and I am like I want a day by myself!!! I really think you and I should get together and hang out with the kids and sometime without !!

Dawn Bizer said...

Love your blog and "confessions". You are human. And your feelings are YOUR feelings and no one can judge them.

It makes me feel better to know you can't always understand your kids when they talk to you. I don't feel so guilty now. A couple weeks ago Zach was trying to tell me something at church ( it had to be a good thing, because he smiled the whole time.) I didn't get what he was saying, I just smiled and gave him a donut! That is my confession! :-)

cookiehawk77 said...

Sounds pretty normal to me. Sometimes I wonder if I should be reported to Child Protective Services. But, praise God, two of mine have grown up without too many serious problems from growing up with me for a mom! The third is still up for grabs. I guess we'll see when he hits adulthood.

And I think being transparent is the best thing you can do to help other mothers. We seem to think good Christian moms should never be selfish or have disobedient children. But those children are born with sin natures, just like us!

Happy Mother's Day!

Paula said...

Kristin, thank you for saying what was in my heart today! Seems as though I'm a week behind you in this "cycle" though. LOL! Thank you for listening without judging today. Now, I can see why! I share just about every single one of your confessions. I don't know that I'm brave enough to admit them to everyone just yet, but I think I did a good job of admitting them to you today! Even though I often feel alone on this journey, I can see that I'm not.

You are a wonderful mother, and because you are, I am too!!! LOL!