Haiti Relief - random thoughts

I am overwhelmed by the thoughts and pictures of the devestaion to that already destroyed country! I can't imagine what it looks like in person.

My husband flies for a mission organization that delivers mail, cargo and supplies to the missionaries in Haiti and the Dominican Republic. They have a relationship with over 130 missionaries in the Port Au Prince area. So far, they have only heard from 30 families. The good news is, of those 30 everyone is physically ok. Many have lost their homes, but not their love and compassion for Jesus - the ultimate healer and restorer.

Mark is flying a group of doctors today and for the first time EVER, he has admitted he is nervous. I am so anxious about that! I am giving my anxiousness to the Lord, but it keeps coming back.

I am also overwhelmed by the amount of support that has flowed! In my school alone, dozens of people have offered to help - and this is from a public non-Christian school.

My prayers are that the people of Haiti turn to the Lord and realize that He is what they need.

www.agapeflights.com has a great site that lists a bunch of needs and names to pray for.

Colorado Vacation

Has it really been a month since I blogged last?

Here are a few pictures from Colorado. I would love to share more, but the mountains will look the same to you guys and I didn't get that many good pictures of the kids.

We did a modified house swap with some dear friends of ours. They moved to Divide, Colorado about 5 years ago. Divide is 45 minutes "up the mountain" from Colorado Springs. Mohan used to say they were at 9,000 ft altitude and it meant nothing to me. But after the first night of throwing up and having a headache from the altitude it suddenly meant something - that and Mark telling me pilots use oxygen at 11,500 ft.

This was the perfect Christmas vacation - snow, scenery and friends. It was pretty cold, but when the sun shines, it wasn't bad. I never made it skiing, but plan to go back some day soon. We did go to Breckenridge for an afternoon. GORGEOUS. We rode a gondola and Zach still talks about going on the "helicopter". He keeps asking if we can do it tomorrow. We also rode the Pike's Peak cog railway and visited the Focus on the Family headquarters. We only went sledding twice and looking back, I wish we had done it more. Some days were just too cold. Plus, it takes so much effort to get everyone dressed!

Here we are sledding the second time. The hill was not nearly as steep, but there were steps to help us get to the top. Ryan was NOT a fan, but Zach loved it!

When we went on the train ride, we saw more gorgeous scenery. We didn't make it to the top because of the snow on the tracks. Ryan got a bit antsy, so we gave him our little camera and he actually took good pictures. Here he is showing Zach some of the pics.

Mark getting the boys ready the first time. Ryan's jacket was really puffy and a bit snug, so he was the stereotypical kid who can't put his arms at his side. The first time we put mittens and gloves on the kids was the hardest. They had no concept of putting your fingers in the holes. Florida babies...

Some of the gorgeous scenery...

Praying for Miracles

So I've been in a funk for a few months and I pretty much knew why, but I wasn't all that willing to get out out of it. I had a quick chat with a friend this morning and she pretty much gave me the kick in the pants I needed. Here's the thing...

I was really struggling with being joyful for others. Every where I turned it seemed like people were receiving miracles, specifically healing from different afflictions and diagnoses for their children. Meanwhile, I was in self-pity-mode because I don't have a diagnosis for my children and I won't ever have "normal" kids who go off to college and give me grandbabies. Boo-hoo poor me, wah, wah, wah...

The Bible clearly tells us to celebrate with those who celebrate and mourn with those who mourn. I was all about the mourning; I just couldn't be truly joyful. And I hated it. But I wasn't willing to stop being a booger.

So this morning I was particularly weary and I ran into Jen at work. She asked innocently, "How are you?" And I said, "Well, ya know, I'm weary." She immediately understood and then I said, "I have no reason to complain... here you just finished battling the biggest thing ever - cancer - and I'm whining." She was gracious and said, "Each of us has a big thing and if we keep saying ours isn't important, we would never take it to God."

We continued in the conversation and she talked about how she was afraid to say that she is cured of the cancer. She clearly heard God tell her she was cured, but was afraid to say anything because she didn't want to upset people who didn't have the same outcome. She said she was praying for a miracle - if it was God's will. But then she realized that adding that clause "God's will" is like an automatic out to not really believe you will have the miracle. So she started praying for the miracle and believing the miracle would happen. She fully recognized that no matter what God chose to do in her life, it would be ok with her - but she wanted that miracle. She compared it to a child at Christmas. When they ask for something, they don't say, "I want this doll, if it's your will Dad." They simply say, "I really really want this doll." And as the parent, you do everything you can to do what's best for your child. Our faith is to be "child-like" and that means - asking for the miracle. The people healed in the Bible believed full well they would be healed and they acted upon it. [I'm sure you people who are much more well versed in the Bible than I am might see some flaws in my paragraph, but it's MY blog.]

Anyway, so I'm choosing to pray for the miracle - like a child - and not add the "God's will clause." I know that the miracle will either be the miracle or the change in my attitude. Either way, it's a miracle.

So here's what I'm praying for:

1st: Clear speech for Zachary and Ryan.

2nd: Zachary and Ryan will be able to read and be functionally literate.

3rd: A diagnosis of what's causing my children's funk. I want to fit into a box and have people to relate to.

[I am going to put a caveat on the clear speech - speech about a variety of topics, not just having friends over to watch movies. Those of you who know Zach will appreciate my caveat.]

Because I am no actively expecting the miracle, I can finally feel happy for those who got their miracle. Because, duh, they prayed for and expected their miracles!

Won't you pray with me? Please, please, pretty please?

Thanksgiving Thankfulness

Ya know how today is Thanksgiving... Well, I thought it might be a good idea to list what I'm thankful for. I don't think I can list them all here, but I'm gonna start. I am going to throw some pictures in here for visual interest. They probably don't have anything to do with the list...

* An amazing Father in Heaven who loves me even though He knows me through and through.

* My husband who loves me despite my best attempts to be a world-class brat.

* My children who don't know any better than to love me!

* A job that I love 85% of the time, but enables me to support my family.

* My husband's job that he loves 99.9% of the time and he gets to work for God.

* Two amazing parents that sacrificed a lot so that I could be the kid I am.

* Two parents that showed me what hard work looks like and that the only way to get what you need is through hardwork.

* A really cool brother who demonstrated what it looks like to overcome obstacles.

* My brother's wife who is amazing and understands what it's like to raise "funky" kids. I wish I lived closer so we could spend more time together. Plus, their kids would make really great babysitters...

* My husband's family that taught him hardwork and how to not let the bummer things in life define you.

* Friends who rock and are there through the thick and thin. I'm a lucky girl.

* A very nice roof over my head. Ok, so it's not glamorous, big or wonderfully decorated. But it's safe, clean-ish, and is our home.

* A little five year old who has chosen to sleep in today.

* An 8 year old who is happily playing.

* Ryan's seizures are more or less under control.

* Zach's ADHD medicine works.

* Zach is talking so much more. He even comes up with funny phrases.

* When Zach made a mess this morning, he chose the bathroom rather than the carpet in his bedroom.

* My husband makes coffee without complaining.

* We get to go to Colorado for Christmas.

* I have 3 friends that I run with in the mornings and it's like therapy.

* A "puppy" dog who will be with us a few more years. Better living through chemistry...

* A cell phone that gets Facebook and the Internet.

* Two cars that drive and get me where I need to go.

* My husband's airplane - even if it isn't all that impressive - we have an airplane.

* Zach and Ryan's teacher. They put up with soooo much and still love those boys.

* The ability to laugh at myself.

* Amazing co-workers who listen to me and give me ideas and balance.

* I am especially thankful for Em - she's like my work big sister.

* The love of reading that my mom gave me.

* Scrapbooking and digital cameras.

* Grass that doesn't have to be mowed too often in the winter.

* Tulips, fall leaves, and geraniums

* Salty, cheesy food.

* My accountability partner, Jen

* My favorite pair of jeans that are the perfect length

* Finding the running shoes that work for me.

* Selling things on eBay so I can afford Christmas

* Cream in coffee - even though I don't do this much

* My Frankenstein mug

* Rainy days

I have so much more to be thankful for, but it's getting a bit chaotic around here, so I'm gonna run along. What silly things are you thankful for?

Top Ten Thursday

I love Top 10 lists! Sara at Domestically Challenged and her friends have started this lovely blog carnival. So feel free to create your own lists!

Top 10 reasons I haven't blogged lately...

1. I haven't had anything very exciting to talk about. How interesting is it to talk about my crazy children or my own crazy-self?

2. I haven't taken the time. I mean, who has time to blog when there are fun games on Facebook? I personally prefer the one where you crunch Christmas ornaments.

3. I haven't done anything I need to deny for Not Me! Monday. Seriously...

4. I actually have work this year! Last year I had little pockets of time I would use to blog. This year, not so much. Just so you know... I really did work last year, I used blogging as a brain break - this year - no time!

5. I hate downloading pictures from my camera. My blogs are boring enough - I should at least add some pictures!

6. I have been in a bit of a funk lately and I'm worried that my blogs will just be a bunch of whining about how awful my life is. It's not awful, but I'm in a funk and so I get really good at exaggerating.

7. My feet stink. That's really not a reason, but these sandals are making my feet smelly and I thought you should know.

8. The boys hog the computer. Seriously. An 8 year old and a 5 year old constantly use the computer!

9. I am trying to be more responsible with my use of time. Ok, maybe not.

10. I am in a funk and I have nothing fun to talk about. See - I even had to repeat my top tens! I guess the funk is just a weariness about not doing enough to help my children and a frustration that we still don't know what is causing their funks. I know it's not life threatening, but I want a miracle. I want a "box" to fit in. People to identify with. I want to talk to people who have the same situation as me. Two kids with the "funk." An 8 year old who still poops his pants but isn't "autistic". I don't want to be around people who worry about their 5 year old coloring outside the lines. And I know there are people who listen to me whine about my situation and get mad at me because I have it better than they do. I get that. But this is my blog and I'm gonna whine.

There, I'm done... I bet you wished you weren't still reading!

K

My Pumpkins

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to another edition of NOT ME! Monday. This is a blog carnival started by MckMama. So when you are done looking at my post - hop on over there and check out her blog. Her baby, Stellan, is in the hospital, so she might not have the blog carnival going - but certainly head over there and pray for her little guy!

These are NOT pictures from 2005 and 2006. I do NOT have a million pictures on my camera to download and I am NOT too overwhelmed with the idea to actually download them. Plus, I am NOT missing the days when Zach and Ryan were a little bit smaller and Ryan wasn't crashing as often. I do NOT miss seeing his beautiful blonde hair all the time. (Because he falls all the time he has to wear a "goober hat".)

I am NOT too cheap to buy a new jumpdrive, so I am NOT deleting all these pictures just so I can have a jumpdrive for work. I am NOT slightly bummed that I can't access my picasa account from work so I can double check to make sure they are archived there!

Anyway... enjoy these old pictures...

I did NOT eat 90% of my children's Halloween candy. And I do NOT wish we had done more trick or treating so I could get even more candy! I did NOT take advantage of Zach finally agreeing to wear a costume.

Speaking of Zach, Mark and I did NOT rejoice when he ate a bratwurst and pasta! We have not added to his menu... We are almost up to a whole week's worth of different foods he will eat! Although, we did NOT tell Zach that the bratwurst was a hot dog. I still do NOT laugh that this 8 year old would rather eat green peppers, carrots, and cucumber than a cupcake!

Ryan has NOT started using crying as a way to manipulate us! He does NOT get in bed and start balling at night. So when we come and check him out, he does NOT smile sweetly. He did NOT do the same thing yesterday when I dropped him off at the nursery! For crying out loud (well, he was anyway) he is almost 5 years old!

Zach did NOT pee in an outside corner of a church the other day. He told me he had to pee and we were alone working the pumpkin patch... What was I to do??

I am sure I did whole lot worse stuff this week, but this is all I can think of at 6:58 in the morning!

What did you not do?