The Freak Show

WARNING: I am in one of those moods again. You know, the one where you are tired of the way your life is. So I'm not completely thrilled that God "trusts" me so much to be the mom to these adorable children. I'm not all positive and funny. And I talk about poop.

So here goes... don't say I didn't warn you!

Right now for me, I'm tired of being the freak show. Everywhere we go... we seem to be the freak show. It's pretty obvious that we aren't "normal" when you see Ryan wearing his goober hat. Then you hear Zach talk and the freak show status is confirmed.

Some people are great about it and some people make me feel worse. And then I make myself feel even "worser" by getting tired of it.

This week's freak show attraction is poop and pee. Thursday, we are at a pool party and Zach poops on the pool deck. The hostess is great about and doesn't even care. She even flings the poo over her fence onto her annoying neighbor's lawn. But someone else at the party gasps and is all freaked out about the turd on the deck. I didn't hear her gasp, and coincidentally left pretty soon after the poop on the ground. The next day at work the gasper apologizes and that's when I got annoyed by the gasping. In the middle of the incident, I didn't hear - but then to be reminded of my freak show status didn't sit well.

This weekend, I took the boys to St. Pete Beach for a little mini-vacation. Attack of the poop part 2. Zach is on the playground at the resort and poops. He doesn't know what to do and Krystal rushes him off to the gulf to clean himself up. (Hey, poop is better than oil...) I try to clean up the incident as best I can, but all I get are stares from people because their eight year old doesn't do that. Anyway, I can't exactly get the remnants off the sidewalk, so I cover it with a huge pile of sand.

Then later at a graduation party, Zach pees his pants. The family was great about it and didn't make me feel like a freak-show-ring-master. But I make myself feel like that. I mean come on... When is it my turn to have the potty trained kids? I've waited patiently and impatiently. But I've waited.

I know that even when the potty training is over, I'll still lead the freak show and I will have new things to complain about...

So that's it. I'm tired of being the freak show. I'm tired of the potty accidents all. the. time. I'm tired of Ryan getting stares because he wears an obnoxious hat. I'm tired of the overly-sympathetic fakeness. I want to live somewhere where everyone is a freak. So then I'll be normal for once.