Not Me Monday!

Hello! It's Monday... That means it's time for a riveting post about things that most certainly did NOT happen this week despite witnesses or photographic proof. This is blog carnival started by MckMama over at MyCharmingKids.net So when you are done with my post, hop over there and see what a bunch of other people most certainly did NOT do this week...

My husband does NOT eat peanuts IN THE SHELL and he most certainly did NOT teach Ryan to do the same thing. No one in their right mind needs that much fiber.

I do not have so much pent up energy from not running much that I scrubbed my kitchen floor, on my hands and knees, Friday night. I have such a social life that even being home on a Friday night is an impossibility. Furthermore, I am NOT so out of shape now that running 3 miles this morning was tough!! I mean seriously, I just did a marathon, how can I get so huffy and puffy with only three miles?? What's next? Being winded as I walk to the mailbox?

I did NOT bring a fart machine to work so that a friend could set up a practical joke on a notorious jokester. Only for the jokester to turn around and get my friend. And the jokester did NOT take the fart machine all around school and interrupt many classes. He did NOT take it home for the weekend and use it at WalMart. Surely a grown man would have better things to do with his time...

I did NOT help my kids build block walls only for me to throw stuffed animals at them. I did NOT keep this up trying to get the picture of the stuffed animal making impact with the wall. This did NOT upset my children. What kind of mean mom do you think I am? Hmm, on second thought, don't answer that...

Look at these happy boys, building walls and houses:

Look at Zach all unsuspecting and smiling as mommy has the camera poised and ready. How quickly that smile changes... See Monster flying through the air? (Oh and my husband is NOT so creatively-challeneged that he has named the stuffed animals things like, Monster, Bear, Alligator, Mr. Giraffe, etc... At least Giraffe is Mr. Giraffe.)

See Zach pounding his foot into the floor thinking, "MOM! I just built that! Why do you keep knocking it down? If Ryan or I did that, we'd be in trouble... but I don't see you in time out!"

I am NOT the type of cruel mom who takes pictures of her kids crying. Well, that's because my children NEVER cry. They are always happy with the choices I make for them... They love that we don't live in an autocracy; they are very happy with mommunism (this term was stolen from my college buddy and dear friend, Alison).

Later, Zach was NOT comforting Ryan saying, "It's gonna be ok... It's gonna be ok..." I did NOT think this was the cutest thing in the world! For kids who can't really talk, they sure say some funny stuff!

I did NOT have a whole list of things to deny, only to throw it away... That's what I get for NOT trying to tame the paper mess!! Speaking of taming the mess, my parents are NOT coming next month, so I am NOT starting the annual fix-all-the-problems-so-it-looks-like-I'm-an-immaculate-housekeeper-supermom. This year, this does NOT involve painting over sharpie on the walls, doors, and floorboards! I was NOT going to have my mom help me paint - only to find out my dad is coming too. I am NOT really happy that my dad is coming - it usually takes a wedding, baby or major arm-twisting. This year, he is NOT coming just to see his wonderful daughter and family.

Well, I am NOT estatic to say that this is my FINAL MONDAY of the school year. That's right folks, I have 9 days left until summer vacation! Yee haw!!

Kristin