Don't ya just love Mondays? Its the perfect time to clean out the heart and mind through free therapy and a chance to deny what has been happening... Thank you to MckMamma and her faithful followers, we have this chance through Not Me! Mondays... After you read my denials, head over to her site (MyCharmingKids.net) and see what hundreds of other bloggers did NOT do!!
I am disappointed to say that this week has been rather un-funny. I am a bit limited in my confessions. But I do have a few... I am NOT totally jealous that my husband's cell phone was broken by our mischevious (or should I say, not-mischevious) four year old. I am NOT totally jealous that he got a Blackberry!! I do NOT totally want one too. I would NOT totally use one when I am looking for stuff to resell on Ebay. How handy would that NOT be to see something that might make some money and check - before bringing it home. But since I do NOT resell stuff that I bought for a buck, then I do NOT need to pretend that I need an internet phone. So... I am NOT totally listing everything in my house on Ebay so that I can earn enough money to buy one... That would be wasteful!! I am NOT about $50 short...
My four year old vandal did NOT strike again!! He is NOT a vandal, so he did NOT write on the kitchen walls, cupboards, and dishwasher with a Sharpie on Friday night. He did NOT choose a new color. But if he did, it would have been black. Mark has NOT started the painting project that has been growing...
This morning as I was getting ready for the day, I considered not posting Not Me's! because I usually try to make them funny and I don't have much material this week. But then, I decided that what I've really been struggling with lately is so common to us women, that I am going to have to Not Me! the internal struggles - that really are stupid, so here comes "True Confessions, Not Me! Style"
I do NOT struggle with my ability to be a "good mommy." I do NOT have some ridiculous idea in mind of what a "good mommy" does. I do NOT think that I should be playing with my kids all the time. I do NOT think that my children should be eating home-cooked food that is organic. (My stand-by hot dogs and chicken nuggets cooked in the microwave probably don't count as home-cooked.) I do NOT think that my children should be clean and tidy and have the cutest clothes.
So I do NOT set these ridiculous expectations on myself and then I definitely do NOT beat myself up when I don't even come close!! That would just be stupid, right?
Then I do NOT take it to the next level. I do NOT start considering my children's disabilities and I do NOT start beating myself up that I can't afford the latest therapy or the prestigious special-needs school. I do NOT start comparing my life to other people's lives. This does NOT spiral into self-flogging. Then I do NOT justify my own life with thoughts like, "Well, they only have one special-needs child. They have one "normal" child. They have more money. They don't work. They know what's wrong with their child" etc. So then I'm am NOT doubly doomed because not only am I beating myself up, but I'm judging and comparing!! I so do NOT do that!!
Oh, but it gets worse... I do NOT listen to my friends and think, "If only you had my problems..." I totally know that God gives us each different trials because we are each so unique and learn differently. I am NOT that horrible friend... But that's ok, because I know you think that too (or do NOT think that...). I do NOT realize that if I had a choice between my problems and your problems, I would probably pick my own anyway.
Then I do NOT take all these mother-ly struggles and apply them to my marriage... I just do NOT do that...
Can you relate? Or am I just crazy.