On the bright side...

I am a pessimist, I mean, I am a realist and often spend more time looking at the negative aspect of things. I am trying to change that. If you know my family, you know that Mark and I are the most-of-the-time proud parents of two developmentally delayed boys. This was definitely not the version of parenthood I signed up for, but it is the parenthood God gave me. I am fully aware that parenting is challenging - no matter what your kids are "like". I try to not wallow in the fact that parenting these guys is an extra challenge.

Last week we had a tough IEP and I realized that I have a perpetual pre-schooler. Sure the boys make progress and have made great growth, but the aren't anywhere near normal. I have also realized that Ryan is in the stage of life where everything is "mine" and his first reaction is to tell "momma" of all the injustices he faces. What is this - age 2? Who knows, I never had the "normal" kids. So we will just ignore the fact that Ryan is 5!

It was in the midst of my feeling sorry for myself that I realized that in all things I am to Praise God. And on the radio were all the pump-you-up-in-difficult-times praise music. I was reminded that when I praise God, things suddenly seem much more manageable.

So yesterday, I was thinking about the fact that my boys will have the joy of coloring Easter Eggs for a long time - much longer than "normal" kids. And that is not so bad. But this (gasp!) optimistic thought made me want to focus on the blessings that my children bring to the table.

Yesterday, I was thankful that we would have fun coloring eggs for a long time to come... Today, I am focusing on the simple joy that these guys have! Truly, they could teach me a thing or two about joy! And when there are tears, they quickly turn back to joy. These guys have no clue about the magnitude of their disabilities. They aren't worried about learning to read or living independently. They could care less about not ever doing algebra or being elected class president. They have the joy in the here and now. I know I could certainly use a dose of that!