"Your Hands" by JJ Heller

I LOVE this song! Have you heard it? I don't have a link to it, but I've heard it on the radio twice.

I don't have any major problems or concerns right now, but this song still speaks to me. I am wrestling with some pretty big decisions, but nothing horrible. I am not a fan of change and uncertainity (who is, really?) but my decision will definitely involve change and getting used to some new things.

So here's the lyrics:

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands

When you walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hrut
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

I love it! It reminds me that despite all the yuck in my life, God holds me. He may not "fix" it the way I want, but He fixes it the way He wants. And resting in His plan is so stinking hard... Even though I have accepted (sort of) that my boys will never be "normal" I still wish he would fix them. So this song speaks to that hurt I still carry.

I also really love the part about asking God to make my paths straight. I seem to take the most circuitous path. I think I could avoid a lot of heart break if I would just follow His path.

I hope you have a chance to hear this song and love it as much as I do!

Not Me Monday!

I am NOT participating in NOT Me! Monday by MckMama at mckmama.com



I am pretty sure you know the rules... admit some faults or things you really wouldn't normally "claim" and then check out the other blogs linked up at MckMama's site...



I am NOT avoiding a mountain of papers because I had a sub for three days last week. My avoidance does NOT include blogging, checking Twitter or my email. Nope, I always use my time wisely...



I did NOT pray for my kids to get a fever on Saturday! They were NOT wild monkeys by 9 am. I was not hoping that the fever that struck 70% of my son's class would strike him just so he would calm down!



I do NOT have a countdown to the end of the school year... it is NOT 68 days...



I am NOT contemplating another marathon. However, the thought of long runs on Saturday is NOT holding me back.



I did NOT watch curling and actually try to figure the sport out. I am NOT any closer to understanding the game.



I did NOT spend my Saturday night at Walmart and then parked in front of the Olympics...



I have NOT avoided finishing my taxes because of a childcare form that needs to be filled out.



I am NOT happy that the end of the day bell has finally rung... It is NOT time to finish up for the day and go home!



This is NOT one of the lamest of these I have ever done...

Living Cheaply

Ok, with the economy in the toilet and my savings just about in the same location, I have been working really hard on living frugally. I proudly wear the title of cheapskate and love reading about ways to save money.

Mark and I have recently started using cash only again. We eat out maybe 3 times a month. We don't go to Starbucks. I only buy clothing on deep discount. And really the only "splurge" is for Mark to fly his airplane for about $75 a month. So, we live cheaply.

I have a few goals of things I would like to do - places to go on vacation, a multi-engine instructor's certificate for Mark, and some material things. I need to save up for those items.

At this point, I don't have major areas in my budget to cut; it's just nickle and dime saving. So I've been researching different blogs and websites and trying to get ideas. I think the most logical place to save money is in the area of electric bill and weekly cash.

I am so tired of the people that tell me the best way to reach my financial goals is to stop eating out [done], don't buy coffee [done], pay off credit card debt [don't have any], clip coupons and double them [no one around here doubles and I clip], and stop getting manicures [never started].

So I need real, practical ideas. How can I save on grocerys and electricity? Any ideas out there?

Here's what I've started this weekend:
* Grocery Price Book - so I can determine when something really is a bargin
* Meals in the freezer so I don't have to wonder what to make for dinner
* Build meals around what's on sale
* Save left overs

What else is there to do???
Help me!

Tomorrow....

I may have said this before, I don't know, but Zach has an obsession with "tomorrow". Whenever we say, "No." He responds with, "Tomorrow?" It is so cute and annoying all at the same time! Here are some of my favorite tomorrows...

"Momma, I want to go night-night with Chloey."
"Nope, not until you are married."
"Tomorrow?"

"Zach, I am making dinner, no snacks right now."
"Tomorrow? I eat tomorrow?"

"I want ho-ho-ho [Santa Claus]"
"Zach, it's February, Christmas is over."
"Oh, tomorrow I want ho ho ho."

"Honey, it's 7:30 at night, we are not making M & M cookies."
"Tomorrow!!!"

Zach walks up to a complete stranger in Target. "You wanna come to my house tomorrow?"

In a tearful voice, "I wanna go on the bus, the school bus, the yellow one."
"Today is Sunday, we go to church today."
Still with his quivering lip, "Tomorrow?"

And sometimes we use it...
Zach brings out the Moon Sand. "I wanna play this."
"No honey, not tonight... Tomorrow."
And he falls for it!

Pictures of Haiti

I'm not sure who took these pictures, but Mark brought them home on a CD. Anyway... they are from the pilots and missionaries of Agape Flights. Agape has had a relationship with Haiti since the early 80's. Since the earthquake, they have sent an unbelievable amount of relief supplies to the missionaries they serve in Haiti and the Dominican Republic. My husband, Mark has flown into Port au Prince and surrounding areas at least 7 different days. He said the pictures and the media don't even show half of the "horrible-ness" of the situation.

Giving Isaac the Ride of His Life

Once again, I aped this from Mark's blog... He is the "I" and "we". I was at home wondering what kind of adventures he was on!

On Friday we were headed on the way back, but first we had to make a stop in Cap Haitian. We were to pickup an orphan boy who had been adopted and take him to Sarasota, simple enough. Well nothing is as simple as it seems, and no good deed goes unpunished.

We had arrived at 1pm and were told that they would be waiting for us at the airport,WRONG. The truth is thy were more than an hour way and were trying to get to the airport on the back of a scooter! They were going as fast as they could to meet the plane. When they arrived the customs officer noted that it was 4:45 and purposely delayed us by letting others cut in front of us. It was no shock when he hit us up for a $50 overtime fee. Then Issac's passport came into question. "Where is the child's passport?" the customs guy barked. Erick, the boys new dad explained, "All we have is what you see here; his passport was destroyed in the earthquake." The customs guy didn't seem to understand. "How is he going to leave the country without a passport?" The father again tried to explain that it was under tons of rubble. Issac was now getting upset. He was tired and didn't understand what the big fuss was; he just wanted to go to his new home, where ever it was.The customs guy finally relented, and now we could depart.

It was now 5:30 and the sun was getting low. I figured we could make Exuma by night. I was desperate to get everyone on the plane as fast as possible. I was expecting the customs guy to charge us with something again.

Issac was still upset, I tried to tell him that everything is fine, and that the fun part was just about to begin. Once we departed and got to altitude I turned to see if Issac was OK. I reached into my backpack and pulled out a big bag of snack mix. He reached into the bag and commented, to his delight, that it was not rice and beans. "Are you cold?" He nodded his head. Again I reached int my backpack and pulled out a hoodie. Then I remembered that I had a whole box of Strawberry pop tarts. "Here try these." When I looked back he was well into his second, and was smiling from ear to ear.

He was warm, he was airborne, and peanuts and pop tarts aplenty!I almost wanted to cry. Here was a little boy who thought that the big city was Port Au Prince. And now in one day he had taken his first airplane ride, and had tasted something other than beans and rice.

We were almost to Exuma, but the reports that were coming in were telling us that Exuma was fogged in, no landings at Exuma. A quick discussion about whether we should hold over the island and wait for conditions to improve or continue to Nassau. Nassau it was. We landed and quickly passed through customs. Issac had never seen such opulent surroundings. The pilots lounge had leather chairs and a very big flat screen TV. Along with all this, he was quite the celebrity. That night he had his first hamburger and fries, and went to sleep with a full tummy probably for the first time.

Another two hour flight found us in Sarasota and we passed through customs. We were met by six agents who then treated Issac to Coke and quesadilla. He was smiling from ear to ear. Before we left and said our good byes I gave Issac an Agape pin and thanked him for being such a great passenger.

Welcome to America Issac, don't get a tummy ache.

I love my job! Thank you God for using me.

The Logistical Aspect of Mark's Haiti Adventures

I copied this from Mark's blog. I am the [editor] and he is the "I". I asked him to blog about his adventure going to Haiti last week. He is one of Agape Flight's pilots. He been flying to Haiti for over 8 years (the first 6 as a volunteer the last 2 as a missionary on staff) This is what he came up with.... I'll ask him to blog again in a few days and share the stories that I have been hearing...

I must say that I have done a bit of flying in the last few days. On, Thursday, January 14th, I flew out to a small grass strip to pick up a Cessna 401 (twin engine,7 passenger airplane) then swung north to pick up my passengers.

The group I was picking up were a group of disaster relief experts that were to organize the relief efforts in Haiti. I arrived at 10am and the amount of cargo they had was surprising. Were they expecting a military transport? How was I going to fit all this gear in the plane and become airborne? After much figuring and head scratching by my co-pilot Paul, we were ready to depart. We received our clearance and we took off into the bright blue Florida sky.

As we neared our refueling stop of Exuma, the chatter on the frequency was that no flights were being allowed into Port Au Prince. We informed the passengers and they asked, "How close can you get us?" "Can you get us to Las Americas?" So off to to the south of the Dominican Republic went. After another refueling stop in Proveceales, we took off into the setting sun which then gave way to night.

Flying at night in the Caribbean is especially dark. It was so dark that for all intents and purposes I could have been on board the international space station. The only way we knew we were moving was because the instruments said so.

When we arrived in Las Americas it was clear that the staging for a massive influx of aid from all over the world was being staged. I saw aircraft from Russia, China, Italy, and Japan. Here I was in my little Cessna 401. Our passengers got off and they proceeded to rent an SUV and drove the rest of the way to Port Au Prince. I hope they made it.

On Monday I hopped in an Aztec (small twin) to act as a shuttle between Santiago and Port Au Prince. On Tuesday we woke and off we went, or so we thought. The Dominican flight plan office had not filed our flight plan, and now we were not going to make our 8am slot time in Port Au Prince; I was furious! I had flown five and a half hours on Monday, and made it to the airport three hours early to make sure all went smoothly and for all of that to be undone by a bureaucrat! I spoke with his supervisor [editor's note: good thing he speaks Spanish!!] and explained that that I had to make my slot time. We got out an hour late start and praying that by some miracle we would make it into Port.

We climbed up over the 10,000' mountains and all along the way I was expecting someone to tell us to turn back, but that call never came. When we arrived in Port Au Prince The frequency was a buzz with military traffic. There were all sorts of aircraft flying around,helicopters,big transports,and small aircraft were all coming and going smoothly. Praise God! We off loaded our 800 pounds of medical supplies and saw them whisked away in a caged truck by one of the missionaries that we serve. As thy drove away, I started to see the scope of the quake. There were tents on the airport and pallet and pallets of supplies of stuff that wasn't moving. Why is all this stuff her, I wondered? [Editor's note, again... I think they were the impounded stuff that Mark talked about on Facebook or in an email. The stuff didn't have the right paperwork.] All the missionaries that Agape had in Port were now a perfect distribution network, and our supplies were getting out right away as fast as we could unload them.

As we got ready to deport, I met other pilots that I had flown with in the past. It was as though we had all come together to fight against a common foe. That enemy was death, and it felt glorious; I had never been a part of something so big. Thank you God for using me!

We continued with our supply runs, two slots a day, and side runs to surrounding areas as was needed. We carried mostly food and water. We had the opportunity to pick up and drop off doctors and other folks. We carried four guys from Barahona [Dominican Republic] that were there to set up a massive tent as a MASH unit.

All in all, it was quite the adventure. Makes you wish you were a missionary, huh? I'm loving it! [Editor's note: Stay tuned for some amazing stories! This was his "logistics" post. Next will be a sights and sounds post!]