Sunday, October 23, 2011

Just one of those days

Today is one of those days. The kind where I'm just going through the motions. Nothing is wrong, per say... it's just a blah feeling day. I guess you could say I'm weary.

As we were heading out the door to go to church, the boys dropped an entire basket of crayons on the ground and then just left it there. I am not proud to admit that I got pretty mad. Looking back, I was mad because I felt defeated. I felt like all I ever do is clean up after people. The boys responded to my anger and cleaned up the crayons. I wish I could say they responded to my love, but I didn't exactly exude warm, cozy, motherly feelings.

So we make it to church and the boys were awesome! Today was the first day that Ryan was not a pest during the service. And in the middle of one of the songs, Ryan looked at me, put his arms up and gave me a great big hug. But was that enough to take away my "blah"? Of course not. I would rather wallow in my pity than celebrate the successes.

After church, I begrudgingly grocery shopped (another joy/energy sucking activity).

I am sitting on the lanai, trying to get my groove back. I don't want to just exist. I want to thrive, I want to be full of joy. I'm hoping this blogging will help me get my priorities straight!

Thanks for "listening"... I think it's helping. Well, not to mention the respite care we get this afternoon. But before Ryan's teacher comes over to hang out with kids, guess what I have to do?

CLEAN UP!!! Aaarrrggghh... On second thought, maybe I will do that when I'm in a better frame of mind.

1 comment:

Carla Gauthier said...

:( Hope today was better. You are a great wife and Mommy. We ALL have those kind of days, even those of us who don't have special needs children. So, I think you should cut yourself some slack and let yourself have THOSE days once in awhile.

Your favorite sister-in-law