Not me! Monday

I'm baaaacccckkkk... I haven't done a not me post in a loooonnnnggg time! Here's what this, it's a chance to deny the happenings in your life. Not Me Monday is a blog carnival started by MckMama at MckMama.com

You would think I would have a ton of things to deny since I have not reported any since July. But since my life always runs so smoothly...

My 8 year old did NOT squat on a bench and pee through his swimsuit while we were sitting by a brand-new-co-worker-friend! This was NOT the first time we had met Lance and I'm impressed that he did NOT handle it like a champ. He did NOT tell me about an incident with his daughters at McDonalds to make me feel better...

I did NOT carry my cell phone all around the gym like a lunatic because I was worried my pregnant friend would call me and need to me to watch her kids when she went into labor. I was NOT totally paranoid that I would miss the call and she would have her baby in the driveway because no one was there to watch the other kids. I do NOT worry about stuff like that. I worry about things I can control... global warming, national debt - you know... easy things.

I did NOT start reading the Love Dare with my accountability partner... My first task was be patient and my second task was to be kind. The very day I read about kindness, I did NOT text my husband pictures of the messes he left behind right after I cleaned the house. Nope, I did NOT do that... I cleaned up the messes patiently and kindly.

I did NOT want to be super cheap on my date with my husband this weekend. So I did NOT think it would be cheaper to grab soup and salad from Whole Foods. Our bill was NOT $38 for 2 salads, 2 soups, 2 drinks, and 1 piece of bread. Oh man...

I did NOT open the cupboard under my kitchen sink on Wednesday to find a dish basin filled with 8 inches of nasty water that leaked from the garbage disposal. I did NOT have any idea how long it had been leaking.

I have NOT been too tired lately to do anything. Teaching does NOT wear me out... I do NOT have great kids - who do NOT love to talk all the time! I do NOT wish that I were a bit meaner so my kids might not shout out so much. But then I do NOT realize that they do this in their regular classes too, I do NOT just happened to have the class where they are all here at once!

I am NOT missing some pretty funny things happening, I just am too brain dead to recall... I will NOT start keeping a list!

So what about you? What have you NOT done?