Inferiority

I'm going to start my rambling thoughts with this quote from the Beth Moore Bible Study on the Book of Daniel: "You've been chosen, Dear One, by the God of all creation for a life worth living. And you feel inferior?"

Can you say, "Bucket of tears running down my face?"

I often feel like a crappy mom or an inferior mom because my children don't measure up in society's eyes. Because people pity me because my children are intellectually disabled. It's an ugly thing for me to feel this way, but you know that pity is out there. But what's even uglier is that I fall for it!

But fortunately God keeps whispering to me that He created my boys for a purpose. A divine purpose that only they can fulfill. And while this is true of all children, it's especially true for my boys. He made them this way so He could use them in ways that go beyond "normal" children.

So tonight I'm sobbing, but not because I feel inferior, but because I'm so grateful that God whispers these truths to me when the world shouts that our children must be smarter, faster, and better looking than the others.

And I need to remember that my family is chosen by the God of the Universe. And you know what... Your family is chosen too - but for a different purpose! How cool is this?

Randomness

I have blogged in, oh, about a million years. It's not that I haven't had much going on, it's quite the opposite - I just haven't taken the time to get my thoughts on the screen!

School is going absolutely, positively, wonderfully well. I LOVE my 6th graders and it is so much fun to spend an hour with them each day. I would like to say that my lessons are super planned and I'm never feeling stressed about what we are going to be doing that week... But, the kids are the bestest! I also LOVE being in the library all day. We have a ton of kids coming through and checking out books. I would love to say that I don't get annoyed saying the same thing a 100 times (like where to return books) but, ya know...

Oak Park has been phenomenal for my kids and they are doing so well at their new school. I got a worksheet from Zach the other day and he actually drew a bird - that looked like a bird! And, he answered questions about birds. He's finally in "big boy" school and seems to be thriving! Ryan is learning how to write with a really cool program called "Handwritting without Tears".

So everything is perfect right? No... I'm struggling with being nice - especially when I come home to a disaster of a house. I feel like I'm putting in my all at work and then again at home. I'm tired and unfortunately, Mark gets the brunt of it...

And then, there's my on-going struggle. Jealousy. I keep forgetting that God gave me Zach and Ryan because He has something incredible to do through them - just the way He created them. And I need to get over the fact that they aren't normal and I can't be jealous of people who shouldn't have "normal" children, but do. How awful and ugly is that jealousy???? Can't believe I even said that aloud...

Ok, time to continue my scrapbooking binge...