Monday, September 28, 2009

Not me! Monday

I'm baaaacccckkkk... I haven't done a not me post in a loooonnnnggg time! Here's what this, it's a chance to deny the happenings in your life. Not Me Monday is a blog carnival started by MckMama at MckMama.com

You would think I would have a ton of things to deny since I have not reported any since July. But since my life always runs so smoothly...

My 8 year old did NOT squat on a bench and pee through his swimsuit while we were sitting by a brand-new-co-worker-friend! This was NOT the first time we had met Lance and I'm impressed that he did NOT handle it like a champ. He did NOT tell me about an incident with his daughters at McDonalds to make me feel better...

I did NOT carry my cell phone all around the gym like a lunatic because I was worried my pregnant friend would call me and need to me to watch her kids when she went into labor. I was NOT totally paranoid that I would miss the call and she would have her baby in the driveway because no one was there to watch the other kids. I do NOT worry about stuff like that. I worry about things I can control... global warming, national debt - you know... easy things.

I did NOT start reading the Love Dare with my accountability partner... My first task was be patient and my second task was to be kind. The very day I read about kindness, I did NOT text my husband pictures of the messes he left behind right after I cleaned the house. Nope, I did NOT do that... I cleaned up the messes patiently and kindly.

I did NOT want to be super cheap on my date with my husband this weekend. So I did NOT think it would be cheaper to grab soup and salad from Whole Foods. Our bill was NOT $38 for 2 salads, 2 soups, 2 drinks, and 1 piece of bread. Oh man...

I did NOT open the cupboard under my kitchen sink on Wednesday to find a dish basin filled with 8 inches of nasty water that leaked from the garbage disposal. I did NOT have any idea how long it had been leaking.

I have NOT been too tired lately to do anything. Teaching does NOT wear me out... I do NOT have great kids - who do NOT love to talk all the time! I do NOT wish that I were a bit meaner so my kids might not shout out so much. But then I do NOT realize that they do this in their regular classes too, I do NOT just happened to have the class where they are all here at once!

I am NOT missing some pretty funny things happening, I just am too brain dead to recall... I will NOT start keeping a list!

So what about you? What have you NOT done?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I know why they call it a dare...

Hmmm... The Love Dare. I get it - it's a dare because it's not easy.

Patience was first. I did ok with this early in the week. Wednesday I was perfect - Mark was out of town... The weekend... well, I failed miserably!

After patience is kindness. I was supposed to do something kind for Mark and well, I probably did the opposite. I know God gave me a variety of chances to do kind things and I was too wrapped up in myself to even want to be kind. I am not going to go into the gory details, but it involved Mark going to a cookout, goatee hair in a clean sink, and fried plantains mess in the kitchen... minutes after I cleaned both areas.

I would have to say that overall, I failed miserably this weekend - with patience and kindness.

I have about 3 hours left of the weekend, think I can make up for it? I don't either, but I'm gonna try.

I tell you what though... I'm lucky to have Mark. And this whole thing makes me think of my walk with God. I try and try to be good, but just mess up left and right. Thankfully, God loves me and forgives me! Even more than Mark does!! Amen to that...

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Love Dare

Hmmm... going back to work has made me way too tired and brain dead to blog much! But I kicked everyone out today and was able to relax, clean, and think! Here's what's been on my mind...

I love Facebook! I love that I'm able to reconnect with "long lost" friends. I've moved around a few times and have left some good friends behind. Despite my best intentions, I am NOT good with keeping in touch. But with Facebook... it's easy-peasy!

Earlier this week a dear friend from college "friended" me. We were accountability partners for a brief time in college. So we decided we should become accountability partners again. Perfect timing - isn't God great how He does this stuff?

Anyway, so since she is my accountability partner, I shared with her some areas of my life that need work. I had never admitted my number one area to anyone before and it was really freeing to admit this. I am NOT the perfect wife. I am a horrible wife. I am not nice to my husband and I am not patient. Sure I might have my moments of kindness, but really, I wouldn't want to be married to me. There I said it. I'm just thankful that my husband wants to be married to me not sure why he wants to be married to me, though.

I asked Jen if she knew of any books that would help me be a much better wife and she suggested I read the Love Dare. I had the book; I just hadn't started the book because it's hard! But with Jen on my side, praying for me, helping me, and not judging me, I knew now is the time.

So I'm going to embark upon a challenge. I'm going to try really, really hard to love my husband the way God wants me to love him. I am going to fail at times, but I hope that I can get it right at times too. I wasn't going to tell Mark, but he reads the blog... (hi honey, thanks for putting up with me!)

I am supposed to do one dare a day, but I think it's going to take a little time to get this right. The first challenge? Patience!

God has such a good sense of humor... He is making me start with the one that is the hardest of all. Although I have a feeling each dare is going to be hard or it wouldn't be called a dare.

I am a little nervous about posting this on my blog, but I want to be transparent. I want to be real about who I am. So don't judge me! Pray for me!! Want to join me on these dares? I double dog dare you!

Monday, September 7, 2009

A poem I ran across

I found this poem in one of my files. A friend gave it to me and I changed a line in it to fit my family. Brings tears to my eyes everytime.

Here's the disclaimer: I wish I had the character traits spoken of in this poem. Well, I do have selfishness, but it's a whole lot more than described! I guess this poem reminds me that God chose me to raise my boys and He will equip me to be the mom I need to be. So I don't want to come across as some amazing mom because trust me, I'm not. I just like this poem and if any of you are encouraged by it, then I'm glad I shared. If you just think I'm a nutjob... well, you might be right!

How Moms Are Chosen

Did you ever wonder who the mothers of developmentally delayed babies are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagataion with great care and delight.

As He observes, He instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Marjorie Forrest, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Carrie Rutledge, twins, Patron Saint... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles.
"Give hera developmentally delayed baby." The angel is curious.
"Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a developmentally delayed baby to a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the ange.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and neccessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy. She has the right amount of selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted one spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says "mama" for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see - ignorance, cruelty, and biases and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of everyday of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Not much to say... VERY BORING ENTRY!

I haven't been very diligent with updating my blog. Mostly because I don't have much to say!

Today has been a great Saturday! I slept in (until 6:30!!). I cleaned (no seriously, I like to clean). I went to the farmer's market for surprisingly affordable produce and took the kids to the fountain. Then a friend gave me three garbage bags full of clothes!! Wow!!!! I cooked (I like that too).

The school year is going well! I like being back in the classroom and I like having responsibilities of my old job too. So school is busy - but good. I'm not used to writing lesson plans, but I won't whine about that. I know in a few weeks I will feel like I'm not drowning in my "To do" list. I hope I will have my "sea legs" and figure out how to do less "homework".

The school year for the boys is a mixed-bag. Ryan is having trouble following directions and ends up in time-out quite a bit. I'm not surprised because he is doing the same thing at home. Zach is having a great year and I hope that it has to do with the Focalin.

Mark has been on quite the emotional rollercoaster with work these last few months and while things have taken a turn for the better, I still think he is going to have some ups and downs!

So... is this the most boring blog you've ever read? I think it just might be!! I told you so...